Since the Pope wears a hat that looks like the paper hats the people at Dick's Last Resort made for us, they should write witty, jack-assery things on the Pope's hat, like they do at Dick's. For example, mine said "I miss prison sex." My lady friend had one that said "So easy a caveman could do me." It's hilarious. The Pope could have a new one every day, so his subjects, or mind slaves, or minions, or whatever the F they're called, could have a good laugh throughout the day. Lord knows their lives are a joke. What, you think they really think about God, and commune with him? HA! Not dressed like that, I would say. If I were God, I would think you people have some serious issues.
The Pope's hat could say stuff like, "For the record, I don't molest children anymore." or "I have had too much of Christ's blood." Or, "Virgin mother, huh? Ya we'll go with that." or "Jesus... I am your Father!" "I farted a few times, and the smell is collecting under this robe-dress." "This is my creepy face." "I've fallen and I can't get up."
I could just go on and on. If you can think of some good jokes to put on the Pope's silly tall hat, write them in a comment.